Shabana Diouri decided she wanted to complete an intensive course to teach English as a foreign language. She got lost on her way to class and ended up being the last student in …

I noticed an awkward silence as I entered. The stares and confused looks. I couldn’t understand why. I sat down and busied myself in anticipation of the teacher.

As soon as the teacher arrived, she told me I was, “In the wrong room.” Apparently people learning English belonged down the corridor. In all honesty her assumption did take me by surprise. Not because I thought RACIST! But because I wasn’t used to this type of mentality.

I grew up in East London, my neighbours to the right were Nigerian Christians, to the left Irish Athiests, and opposite were Jamaican Rasta, English. We had an amazing community, we shared food and looked after each other’s houses and pets. We grew up with everyone so race and religion were not really a big deal to me, instead trust and respect were.

Hence the reason I felt so uncomfortable at people reacting the way they did. I felt singled out and the only obvious thing I could put it down to was the difference in the way I looked. I was the only brown coloured women wearing the hijab amongst a room of white people. But the story does not end there. I decided to conduct an experiment.

I could have taken their reactions to heart, retreated within myself and felt like a ‘victim’. But instead I thought of challenging the situation.

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes,

we are wrong and too quick to conclude

what we perceive to be the way people

think of us.

I had studied the theory of ‘self fulfilling prophecies’ in Economics and decided to apply this to the awkward situation I found myself in. Were people really giving me looks? Were they trying to single me out? Did they really see me as someone too different to them for us to even communicate? Was this an outward expression of racism? Or was this my own perception?

I could confirm I was being reacted to, but what I could not say with complete conviction were the reasons and intentions behind those reactions. If I had allowed myself to believe I was suffering from racism, I could’ve internalised that. Negative perception could then actually have caused me to behave ‘different’. I could have become increasingly quiet, keeping to myself and not engaging in dialogue. But I knew such reactionary behaviour could end up causing more of the ‘racism‘ that I didn’t like!

I didn’t want to initiate a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies, and so I decided that I would treat the students like family. They hadn’t got to know me and I would make damn sure I changed that.

I spoke to every student. Though initially I wasn’t asked to join anyone for coffee or lunch, this soon changed. I ended up making very good friends.

This experience taught me something very valuable about the difference between racism and perception. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, we are wrong and too quick to conclude what we perceive to be the way people think of us.

Last year we moved to a new house. My neighbours stood at their front doors staring. No one said hello. No one even smiled. I could have assumed the worst but instead I thought maybe they don’t know how to approach me. After our housewarming party, I sent a plate of food to each neighbour. The hellos and smiles came out instantly.

Not every look or silence is done with venomous racist intent. Sometimes people feel awkward, unsure, confused about how to approach someone that looks different. So why not initiate dialogue? Extend the hand of friendship and see what happens? Be first to initiate the conversation that could potentially turn strangers into friends.

Shabana Diouri is a staff writer for Young Muslimah Magazine so you can look forward to more articles from her inshaAllah. She blogs at http://muslimahuninterrupted.wordpress.com/

Excerpt from the Prophet Muhammad’s last sermon (Peace and blessings be upon him):

“All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action … Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves … Remember, one day you will appear before Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not stray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.”